I am tremendously blessed with such a beautiful and amazing life. Each day I thank God for giving me the privilege of living this perfect life. I say perfect because I have an even balance of success and failure. This allows me to be hit hard and celebrate even harder. With my failures comes complete success. My eyes have been opened and I have discovered a whole new side of myself that I absolutely adore. I want to shout it from the roof tops.
I have pushed myself in the last year in ways I never thought possible. I started a business which brings me so much joy each and every day. I have exercised hard at the gym and have completed numerous goals I have set myself. In 2012 I proved to myself that nothing is impossible. I seriously can do anything that I set my mind and my heart to. This thrill, this drive, has left me wanting more. How far can I push my limits? 2013 brings new goals, new motivation and even more success.
Last week I started training. I sought out the best man for the job, pestered him until he said yes and started training towards my goals. It started out as a recovery for my back but I instantly fell in love and wanted more. Night after night I watched on You Tube the extraordinary lengths people were going through to achieve their goals and it ignited the flame. The flame became my motivation, and I'm ready to do anything it takes to create this fire. I am strong in my heart, I am strong in myself and now it's time to push and be strong in my body. I deserve it, my husband deserves it, our future children deserve it. I want to be a vision of health, love and happiness. I want my husband to look at me and be proud of how far I've come. I want my children to know that I worked every dam day, for years before they were born, to be the absolute strongest person in my mind, body and heart, for them. What I choose today is how I'm going to be tomorrow. Today I choose to be my best self for their "tomorrow"
As I started training one thing kept niggling away at me. The words I CAN'T! Before I even tried, the words left my mouth before I could even stop them. I can't lift those weights. I can't squat that bar, I can't run that hill. Well the funny thing was I did do it. My body did it, and it will continue to do it, but my mind is just a little bit slow on the up take. For the first time in over a year I self doubted myself. I let my mind make me believe something that wasn't true. I slipped into old habits. I told myself I couldn't do it so I wouldn't be hurt when I failed. You know what. I'm going to fail. I'm going to be sore, I'm going to vomit, I'm going to hurt, but every time I hit that rock bottom it's a chance for me to push my limits, get back up and prove to myself how strong I actually am.
This year as we enter into the first day of lent I am giving up the self doubt. As we celebrate Ash Wednesday I will gladly burn the words and sacrifice them out of my life. Tonight I said it out loud. I told Rob and I told A that I was not going to say those toxic words "I can't". From the minute we start from the minute we stop I will not self doubt myself.
The fact of the matter is that I CAN, so the extra 'apostrophe T' can go jump!
Peace, Love and Hope
x S.K.K x